One weekend and a long sleep later, I'm back to normal, diary. I mean, I'm always a little put down whenever I get near my dad (I can't remember so well but my childhood must have been ABSOLUTELY DEPRESSING), but I bounce back. Always gotta bounce back.
Which means, time to focus on the issue of the captain!
As you may recall, diary, I invited Captain Cedric to dinner a week ago, learning in the process that he's kind of a big softy. Sure, he likes to beat on people… including his dog… but he just wants love. And it's all the kangaroo's fault.
Don't even get me started on the kangaroo. After what Queen Daena mentioned TWO weeks ago, I'm beginning to wonder if it IS a kangaroo. Have we ever seen a kangaroo before? Are we just assuming it’s a kangaroo because it bounces on its hind legs everywhere it goes? So yeah, don't get me started on the kangaroo.
Captain Cedric's big problem is his lack of manhood. He lost it to that beast, and without it he's incomplete. He'll never be a proper man without the manhood. Without that, he's just… a hood, I guess… which makes no sense, but you understand, don't you, diary? He needs his thinger! I can sympathize, I'd be lost without mine. How does he pee?
Probably shouldn't think about how the captain pees too much. Gettin' disturbing.
But… how do restore a lost thinger? Is there a way? Doesn't sound like something a doctor could do. I guess if we HAD the thinger we could maybe reattach it, but I don't think it would work… well, it's worth a try, I suppose, but… maybe I should ask Logan if I could have it back?
Logan, you're always reading this diary. Can I get Captain Cedric's thinger back? I'd like to get a promotion, and he could make it happen. Please?
Sincerely,
Dragomir the Requester
Oh Dragomir, you should know better. You don't ask to touch a young boys Thinger. Even if it DID belong to someone else beforehand.
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