Day Four-Twenty-Six: Killing machine no longer

There's… something… off about you today, diary.

I cracked you open with the intention of filling your pages with some of the best news ever. A LOT has happened in the last two weeks, and, uh… well… I can't bring myself to detail a lot of it, now, 'cause… what's up with you? I don't… something… it's like you're missing something all of a sudden.

It's like you're just another book.

Huh.

That makes me a little teary-eyed. I don't know why. Sorry, don't know what came over me…

I had other reasons to be teary-eyed today, as well. Good ones. When I woke up, bleary and in desperate need of coffee, I was staring at an angel. And she was staring back at me.

And standing on her own.

I thought it was a dream. My dreams are as horrifying as ever, mind, but the occasional good one slips in… and this one, it was as simple and pure and good as a parent could hope to receive. My little girl. Watching me. Actively. Up and about and maybe a bit cautious, a bit quiet and withdrawn, but my little girl. Awake.

Then I pinched myself, and I realized it wasn't a dream, and I may have lunged at her out of joy. A stupid idea, that, as Eve is a murderer of armies, but she didn't attack. She ran to the other side of the room and ducked into a closet, squeaking out a tiny scream.

I picked myself up off the floor, alarmed. Eve doesn't show panic. Eve doesn't show much of anything. But Eve also isn't usually in a coma.

I took it slow. Edging my way to the front of the closet, I sat down at a safe distance and watched her. She watched me back, one eye peeking warily out of a bundle of clothes. I spoke to her, said the kindest things I could think of, slowly and calmly and lovingly beckoned for her to come out of the closet and 'Come to daddy, c'mon, Eve, come to daddy'.

She did not. I decided not to press the issue too much, and instead set about dressing myself, giving her some space. After half an hour of careful patience, she crept out of the closet and watched me from the other side of the bed. Gods help me, it took ALL MY WILLPOWER not to spring on her and snuggle her to death. SNUGGLES.

Instead, I held out a hand and let her come to me. Eventually, she did. She's barely let go of me since.

I started slow. I took her out of the house and over to the Beefiary, where everyone was getting up for the day. Anyone who knew nothing of Eve greeted her cordially; anyone who lived in the castle kinda freaked out and stayed away from us. That was fine - the main reaction I wanted was from Bora, and she gave a nice, strong one, squealing in delight over little Eve and making her a batch of pancakes.

Eve nibbled them down with contented relish. I guess she's gotten over her raw-meat-eating-phase. THANK THE GODS, we can't spare the animals.

Sensing that Eve held a strong curiosity about the town, I decided to take her on a tour. Nothing huge, just a general sight-see. I started with the Beefiary itself: I showed her my old bed, the kitchen, her Uncle Robert's grave (she seemed appropriately sombre about that, and clutched my hand a little more tightly) and the upstairs (staying well away from Grayson's abandoned room). In particular I introduced her to Evangelina, who played the ambassador very well, despite lingering in a jail cell.

"Hello, Eve!" Eva said, stepping up to the bars to offer Eve her hand. "It's been a while. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Evangelina."

Eve looked at me. I nodded and ushered her forward. She touched Evangelina's hand for a second, then scooted behind me.

Eva gawked. "Wow. Good grip. You're going to be a strong one when you grow up a little more, Eve. And such a lovely name! Much better than your dad's, don't you think? I should know, we're almost the same. We E girls have to stick together."

Eve said nothing. She did, however, smile a tiny bit. 

Bora came to the door, asking if Eve would like more pancakes. She nodded again, and I let Bora lead her away by the hand.

"She's a little girl," Eva murmured as soon as Eve was out of earshot. "An honest-to-gods little girl. A bit tall, but… there isn't a speck of Lord Knight in her anymore. I could tell the second she set foot in here."

"I KNOW," I yelled, skipping from foot to foot. "Isn't it amazing? Isn't it SO AMAZING? I HAVE A DAUGHTER, I HAVE A DAUGHTER!"

"Yeah." Eva rubbed her chin. "I guess you do. Are you going to use this to try and mend things with your wife?"

"I HAVE A DA- eh, what?"

"Wife. Libby. Mend. If Eve actually is normal now, you should probably tell her mother."

I sneered, though there was little force behind the expression. Truth be told, I have trouble disliking Libby when she's not around. I often wonder why we fight quite so much as we do. The lonely nights have not been kind. "She hates Eve. I doubt this'll change anything."

"You don't know that," Eva urged. "You owe it to both of them to try and establish a relationship. Even if… you know… you and Libby never reconcile."

"'n what if Libby is mean to her? What if Libby tries to beat her up again? You were there, I bet you saw them fight on the way to Bottomless -"

"Yeah. I did. What I saw was an attempt to bridge a gap, the only way they knew how. Not every conversation requires words, Dragomir. You have to take her to see Libby."

I grumbled. "I'll think about it."

The tour continued. I showed Eve the beginnings of the wall, the houses, the forest, the stone church that's come surprisingly far in the last two weeks, the now-operational mill, the Potos River, my parents' farm (mom LOVES Eve like this - dad's kinda disappointed), and, ultimately, the golden tree. She really seems to like the golden tree.

Unfortunately, the tour was marred by that nagging voice in my head, one I know is right.

"You have to take her to see Libby."

Ugh.

BUT ANYWAYS I HAVE A DAUGHTER AND IT'S SO COOL

Dragomir the Father