Day Two-Sixty: Separation Anxiety

Men has come. Men, big helmet, scary. Is the diamond-eyesies. Both green. Like match thinger. Not light green, but scary green. Frightened, is diary. I huddle, stay still, men won't find.

Hope.

I record.

"Dragomir the Guard? Don't shoot. We come with a message. Dragomir the Guard?"

"What the FUCK do ya want?!"

"Not you, woman. Your husband. Where is he? Our lord wishes to speak with him."

"You can TELL that FUCK JEFFREY -"

"Not Jeffrey. Our lord. There is a huge difference. Dragomir? Dragomir the Guard?"

"GET THE FUCK -"

"Libby. Calm down. You're scarin' the nobles. Ow, don't hit me!"

"DON'T GRAB ME IN THE DARK, THEN! Gods! Edmund, take the fuckin' ballista, wouldya?"

"Thy will be done, / o vicious wifely one."

"Shut yer trap. What do you want with my goddamned husband?"

"I told you. My lord wishes to speak with him."

"Fuck! What the hell's goin' on! Why didn't you shoot the bastards?!"

"Calm down, Cedric. Back off."

"Don't tell ME to back off, you twerp, I outrank you!"

"Yeah! What he said!"

"Let 'em leave."

"What?"

"Them. All of 'em. Let them leave. 'n I'll come with you."

"Will you, now?"

"The FUCK he WILL! Dragomir, SHUT the HELL UP!"

"No. Listen. They want me, they can have me. You all get out. Okay? Okay. Sounds grand. Let's do it."

"NO it's NOT GRAND! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I LET YOU DO THAT?! WE'RE DYING TOGETHER, YOU FUCKING PRICK! YOU CAN'T JUST -"

(Whomp. Ow. Big, big hairy man, he… he knocks out Libbers. Ow ow ow. Is okay, though - she fine. And little lad in belly, he is fine, too!)

"Sorry 'bout that, Dragomir. I think it's a good deal."

"Uh… thanks… I think."

"Yeah. With one o' them caveats: I'm comin' too."

"What?! No, hell with that. Just me, or -"

"You and me or nuthin', you lazy fuck. I'm still your captain. And AS captain, I'm sayin' YOU, BERNARD, are comin' too!"

"WHAT!? ARE YOU CRAZY? I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY'LL LET THE RESTA THESE PEOPLE GO!"

"We will."

"WHAT?!"

"That was the plan when we came here. Our lord has no interest in anyone but Dragomir. The rest of you are free to leave on the dragon."

"WHAT dra- oh holy shit there's a dragon floatin' beside me, holy, oh holy, shiiiiiiit -"

"Cut your whinin', Ber. Lookit that, it's the king's ride. Apocalyptor, right?"

"His name's Barrel, actually."

"Huh?"

"Long… LONG story. You'll let him take these people outta here?"

"Of course. We had hoped to use them for food, but you're all proving too tenacious to bother. The time is very close, and our lord wants you below to witness the grand opening."

"… food…?"

"Fine. Whatever. Ed? C'mere, Ed. Take this - "

(Drags? DRAGS?! WHO IS THIS? DRAGSSSSSSS)

" - and take Libby, 'n all these nobles, and get outta here. You sure you don't wanna go with 'em, Cedric?"

"Nope. I've got a king 'n a prince to worry about. You sure YOU don't wanna beat feet, twerp? If that dragon c'n grow, like I'm suspectin'…"

"They'll cave in the hole. If I try to escape. Won't you?"

"Not quite. We'll cave in the walkways. On top of the dragon. It will never make it to the top."

"That's fuckin' crazy! You'd all be stuck down 'ere!"

"You assume that we need walkways to get out."

"…"

"I DON'T WANNA GOOOOOOOOO, I'M GONNA DIE LIKE ALL MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS!"

"You're goin' and you'll like it. C'mon, you bastards, let's get this over with."

"Ed! One more thing. There's a guy in the castle library. He's refusin' to leave. Make sure he does. Grab him and take him with you."

"Ah, a librarian, indeed! A curious lot. / I can force the vacation of a familiar spot."

"Eh… sure. Cool. Harold, you know the library, right?"

"Um… y… yeah…"

"Guide him. Don't leave Robert behind."

"Okay."

"Y'done?"

"One more thing."

(DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS, STOP KISSING HER AND HOLD MEEEEEE)

"Bye, Libby. Love you."

(DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS)