Day One-Twenty-Nine: Prepare for trouble, and make it double

HAY DRAGOMIR

GUESS WHOS WRITIN TODAY

LOLOLOLOL

Though I suppose I should stop with my normal, bourgeois writing. It's hardly becoming of a prince. The Baron needles me incessantly about the need to 'communicate with the masses', and my impenetrable scribblings are less about communication and more irritating my tutors.

BUT GODS I LUUUUUUUV EM YAR HAR HO

Ahem. Dragomir's wife seemed at odds over who would take the fourth day, so I volunteered. Without asking. I don't ask permission, I'm the prince - when I decide to do somebody a favour, I simply do it. Asking is for peasants. I know better, so why delude others into thinking they're somehow superior? It simply won't do.

All that said I have become rather fond of the owner of this book, even if he is a lowly guard. He has a naïve charm about him that calls out for friendship. How could I not provide assistance in a time of need?

PLUS IM GONNA BE SHACKIN WITH HIS DAUGHTER

He will be a father to me, and I, a son to him. I appreciate his efforts to better the castle, and I further appreciate the, ah, 'services' he has rendered to me in the past - primarily vis-a-vis ending the unpleasantness between my father and myself. I regret what happened, and I'm glad I now know more of my father than I did before.

Though he looks marvellous with an asscrack running down the middle of his head.

Given that I've read much more of this diary than anyone else, I know how it goes. I spent my day:

- Enduring The Baron's dull lessons
- Fleeing from The Baron - quite ineffectually, as well; he seems to have a natural radar for my location, which is no surprise given that he's been chasing me around the castle for two years
- Playing tricks on The Baron (I DUMPED MAYO IN HIS BREECHES)
- Siccing my kangaroo on The Baron
- And, after tiring of the old man, charging him with treason and locking up in the dungeon - I do this all the time, so you'd think he wouldn't mind, but he still gave me his usual "You think you can win but I'll outlast you and turn you into a gentleman, young man, my resolve has never been stronger" speech as I locked the cell door

And now I'm outside with my mother, writing in this diary, and I see that she's sending a guard to free The Baron. Fiddlesticks, I shouldn't have written that.




Hello, Dragomir! This is Queen Daena. I'm sorry for all the trouble my son has caused you. I never did thank you for telling me the truth about what he did to his father, so… thank you!

I would add something about my day to round out the entry, but it's usually the same each time: I wake up, I greet my guard for the week, I read a few books, I bundle up when the snow blows in and I ravage any animals that come close with my legs. I've killed more curious rabbits that way. Sorry, little bunnies, but I can't help my kicking!

Quite long enough for one entry. My son will return the diary now. Get well soon, Dragomir! Even though Logan speaks like his pompous prig of a father, I know he's worried about you - I can see it in his eyes!

Sincerely,

Queen Daena N PRINCE LOLGAN