We're... not screwed?
Nope. Surprisingly not. I was saved at the last moment, as the capture squad closed in, by the... weirdest thing imaginable...
I'd been walking for a couple hours... maybe more than just a couple, since I had about a thousand blisters on my feet... when I stumbled into a canyon. I couldn't walk anymore. I HAD to have a break, diary. So I collapsed, crawled into the canyon and tried to hide as best I could. I didn't figure any stupid zombies would be able to find me.
Yeah. I was so wrong.
I couldn't sleep 'cause I was paranoid about my supposed bride sneaking up and straddling me or something, so I sat and watched the canyon entrance. I guess my eyes weren't so good at that point, though, or maybe it's 'cause it was night time, but I eventually noticed that there was a squad of zombies getting reeeeeeally close.
Like, right outside the little canyon close. Like, 'I'm trapped' close.
They saw me right away. A ghost floating over my head made hiding impossible. Plus they had some sort of weird mobile telescope thing that they were using to follow my tracks on the ground. Guess they can't bend over without falling apart, so they'd need something like that to track people.
Meh. I'll blame it more on Philip. He keeps scribbling in you, diary.
Anyway. I had just enough time to write the last message before they were on me. What else could I do? My legs were so damn sore. I sat there and stared at 'em while they discussed carrying me back to their princess. I kept my mouth shut and left my legs all floppy, so they figured my legs were broken. One of 'em even said that might be helpful, 'cause they wouldn't have to put a collar on me when they got back to camp! The hell kind of a marriage is that?!
I was all prepped and ready to go, sure that I'd never see home again... sure that I was gonna die once that woman... did... stuff... to me... but then the oddest thing happened. I discovered what was making all the squeaking noise through my trip:
A rat crawled out of my armour.
The zombies took one look at the rat and backed away. Even Philip seemed squeamish, which is no surprise since the rats at the castle hated him before.
The rat watched them for a while, not moving from my shoulder, and eventually the zombies wandered away. No explanation, though one did... seem to bow... well, either way, I guess that's the end of my zombie problem? Maybe?
The rat didn't offer a reason for all this happening, and eventually it crawled back in my armour. Normally I might consider eating lowly vermin, what with the giant knot of hunger in my stomach, but since this little guy had... somehow saved my life? I wasn't about to do anything to him.
Yeesh. I had a rat on me for days and I didn't even know it.
Well, this is all still kinda moot, diary. I can't move, and Goblinoster is still a long ways away. I think. I dunno. Doesn't matter. It could be fifteen feet away and I'd still be stuck in this box canyon.
Sigh. I'm gonna sleep. Hope something big doesn't eat me over the weekend. I think it's Friday, isn't it? Oh, who cares.
Night night,
Dragomir the Adventurer
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