Day One-Ninety-Nine: Shadow bro

- Don't bother trying to dry undies by hanging them outside in the rain, it just don't work

- Don't hang undies outside during the day - people complain about the smell

RIGHT. Now that that's done…

As I intimated yesterday, today was all about confronting Robert. In the Beefiary. I straight up asked him what he was doing. BEFORE I got to that point, though, I spent the day figuring out ways TO broach the question. I'm not sure why I made it so complicated, but, in fairness, I had a lot of time to kill before the Beefiary emptied.

I, uh, may also have spent that time playing with the cockroach cup. Did you know that putting ANYTHING in that cupboard - other cups, bowls, a skull - will fill it with dead roaches? Happens almost immediately after you close the door. Reopen, hey, more roaches! I'm not sure how this helps my life at all, but it's always good to know new things, right?

Okay. Enough about the cupboard. I just thought it was neat.

(I brought the cup home with me. Gonna leave it overnight 'n see if it refills OUTSIDE the cupboard. Now that would be a sight, eh?)

ANYWAY

So after a lot of debate, speculation and mental testing, I went to see Robert. He was washing down his workstation in the kitchen when I called him over to the front counter.

"Hey, Drago," he said, polishing a mug. "Nice to see you in normal clothes. Only a right dunce'd think that outfit -"

I leaned over the counter and waved a finger in his face. "Whatareyouuptodon'tlietomeIcanseerightthroughyoubroTHEEEEEER!"

He backed well away from the counter. "What in the hell is wrong with you?! Speak English!"

I took a deep breath. "You. Asking questions. Me. Know. Want know… what you're up to. What are you up to? That is my question, and I want an answer! And my disguise was awesome, so you just shut up!"

"Shut up about what? My scheme?"

"No, the outfit!"

"Oh, okay. So you want me to not mock your piss-poor fashion sense?"

I threw my hands up in the air. "You just did!"

"So I did." He snickered. "You want me to stop?"

"Yes!"

"Honestly? It kinda deserves criticism."

"It does not! I see merchants dressed like that all the time."

"Not me."

"Well then you don't look closely enough!"

"I think I do."

"Well that's not the problem! You were a jerk, and I want an apology."

"You gonna tell on me?"

"I'll go straight to mum, I will!"

"Then I'll apologize. Sorry, bro." He held out his hand.

I shook it. "Alright then!"

"So I'll see you later?"

I paused. Something wasn't right. "Y… yep. Guess so."

He grabbed a wrapped yak tart from behind the counter and handed it to me. "Tart for the road?"

"Ooo, thanks."

"Off ya go, now."

"See ya." And off I went.

…

…

THEN I RAN BACK

"HEY, don't change the subject!" My finger was in the air again. "What're you scheming, bastard? I know you're scheming! Bastard! Tell me your bastardly scheme!"

Robert laughed again. He exited the kitchen, sat down at a table, and motioned for me to join him. "Y'always were easy to confuse, Drago. What makes you think I'm scheming anything?"

"The questions!" I shouted. "And the meetings with people on your lunch break! That stuff! I know it's happening! Nobody talks with other people on their lunch break!"

Cocked eyebrow from Robert. "You do all the time."

"You don't, though! Don't fog the issue!" I slammed my hand on the desk. "I want to know. I mean, I'll help ya, even. I just wanna know! Don't keep me in the dark, I'm antsy to hear secrets!"

Robert sat back on his stool, watching me. His eyes gradually drifted away, into the darkened areas of the Beefiary where the torches were already extinguished… then, weirdly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of wood. He held it up so I could see.

"I got this," he started, concentrating on the wood, "from a fella who came through here, couple months back. Strange man. Always wore a dumb wicker hat, the kind we had back on th'farm. Bastard blew up onea my cauldrons."

I figured he was going somewhere with this, so I let Robert speak. I kept my fist clenched on the table, though, to show him my determination.

"For a long while, I thought it was just a handy lil' trinket. Wave your hand, 'n…" He smiled. "Just a trinket. But now…"

Robert pinched the wood between his thumb and index finger and stood it on the table. Then he stared at me. "It's a symbol t'me, Drago. Proof that you c'n get somethin' from nuthin'. Proof that a guy like me, just an ordinary old chef, can change things. And things around here… they really need to be changed."

Robert passed his hand over the stick. As soon as his hand moved away it burst to life, a small flame dancing on the blunted end. I'm sure my eyes widened, 'cause I've never known Robert to be one for magic, and I knew it wasn't a trick. I just knew.

"I'm the spark, Drago. It's time things changed."

He held up his free hand. From all around us I heard the shuffling of feet as dozens of people walked out of the shadows, surrounding the Beefiary's eating pit, all watching us. They all had hoods, so I couldn't tell who they were, and that somehow made the experience more unnerving.

"Robert?" I asked, glancing around. "What's…?"

He pointed towards the exit. "Go home, Dragomir. I thought 'bout askin' you to help, but they're all right. Guards aren't welcome here right now. Y'can't help me with this; your job won't let ya."

He didn't say anything else. I tried to persuade Robert to open up, but he just kept pointing, and, after a minute, so did everyone else. I timidly retreated, running home at top speed.

Now I'm in bed, Libby at my side, snoring away, and I'm nervous. I probably went on about that stupid cup at the beginning because I figured it would drain my nerves. Didn't work. I'm still nervous. Whatever Robert's planning, it's not one of his stupid little schemes - this time, he's serious.

What's going to happen, diary? And when?

Gonna be tough to sleep tonight,

Dragomir the Guard